In order to set aside the time to write and refine our book projects (how selfish!);  to put our idea, process, or reflection out there (how audacious!); and to launch our professionally designed and covered book, and then sign it for readers (how arrogant!), most of us must sort through our reluctance to be full of ourselves. Notice what comes up for you when you repeat the words “be full of yourself” a few times!

The good news is that we came into the world with feelings of omnipotence, not inferiority! In the very beginning, the girl-child trusts her vision of the world and expresses it. With wonder and delight, she paints a picture, creates a dance, writes a story, and makes up a song. To give expression to her creative impulses is as natural as her breathing. She is not bound by the customary way things have been expressed. Her creative intuition is original. She gathers all of life into her inner crucible and mixes it with her unique vision and experience. She loves the sounds, movements, ideas, images, and words that emerge from inside of her.

Sometimes the creative impulse leads her to share her dance, song, story, or picture. She is full of herself as she performs before audiences large and small. Other times she doesn’t want to share her creative expression with anyone. She reads to herself, creates an art showing in the privacy of her bedroom, or dances with her beloved stuffed bears as her audience. The originality of the universe pulsates through her. She is full of herself!

Pause to remember your healthy desire for acknowledgment and recognition: the time when you hung all of your second grade paintings on the living room wall and sent invitations to the neighbors to come to your first art showing; the time when you asked all the Thanksgiving guests to listen to the stories you had written and to clap after each one; or the time you called your mother’s best friend because you knew she’d listen to your ideas with the same interest she showed to adults.

If you do not remember your childhood, recall the healthy desire for acknowledgment and recognition expressed by your pre-adolescent daughter, granddaughter, or niece: the time she asked if the family could have a weekly “show and tell” time so everybody could be applauded; or the time when she wrote to the president about her ideas of how to help homeless people through the cold winter and called the White House because she didn’t get a response soon enough to suit her. Allow your daughter, granddaughter, or niece to awaken memories of a time when you were full of yourself.

For most of us, our childhood desire for acknowledgment was judged as conceited, big-headed, self-inflated, and pompous by our families. Daily, we walked through a mine-field of admonitions to be humble about our projects, dreams, accomplishments, and adventures, to be humble and quiet about ourselves at the expense of our own healthy self-celebration:

• Don’t be so egotistical and full of yourself. Don’t blow your own horn. Don’t brag.
• Pretend you don’t know what you know so you won’t hurt his ego.
• Do well quietly so others won’t feel intimidated by you.
• Don’t be so obvious with your talents.
• Don’t hurt other people’s feelings by being so good at everything.
• You’re too big for your britches. Stop showing off.
• Who do you think you are? Pride goeth before a fall.

The constant repetition of these childhood commandments censored our natural desire for acknowledgment and recognition. We were required to be quiet about ourselves, to pretend that our ideas, projects, dreams, and talents were small and inconsequential so we wouldn’t hurt other people’s feelings and so we would be liked. We learned that girls are suppose to applaud for others, especially the boys.

One of gentlest ways to reclaim your original fullness is to use your imagination to transform your childhood experience and to design your own life differently in the present. Newness cannot exist in our experience until it’s imagined within our minds and hearts. Once imagined, the new experience becomes our present—in this way we truly heal into the present from the inside out.

Participate in the following “Healthy Family Fantasy” through play, movement, or in the quietness of your healing imagination. Trust your own impulse to sit quietly or to enact the fantasy. Enter into a childhood hoped for… Replace Patty’s name with your own.

Patty’s Voice: A Healthy Family Fantasy

One Saturday night a month all of Patty’s friends and the friends of her parents are invited over for “Show and Tell.” Patty’s mother is usually the Queen of Ceremonies because she always wanted to be a comedienne but her parents wanted her to learn to type until she got married. She didn’t listen to her parents, never learned to type, and is the official comedienne of the family, the neighborhood, and the PTA. She starts off with the same words and actions every month:

“Be full of yourself. Brag, boast, and show-off. Be pompous and big-headed. Blow your own horn. (She blows a horn and passes it around!) Be loud about what you can do. Be too big for your britches. Have your cake and eat it too.” (She cuts the cake and passes it around!)”

“Everyone gets a standing ovation because it takes courage to show and tell in front of an audience. Sometimes it takes more courage for us grown-ups to sing and dance, to share our ideas, and to read our words, but we do it and we get a standing ovation too. Let’s practice the ovation before we begin.” (Up and down until she thinks they’ve got it!)

One Saturday night, Patty was ready to sing her favorite country western song. She’d practiced all week even though she knew the words by heart since she was four years old. She was the first one introduced by her mother and stepped onto the stage as her sister started the tape.

At just the right moment she began to sing (with Nancy Griffith’s help) “Love at The Five and Dime.” Patty invited everyone to join her at the chorus: “Dance a little closer to me. Dance a little closer now. Dance a little closer tonight cuz it’s closing time and love’s on sale at Ivy’s five and dime…” Patty received a standing ovation.

At school they tell Patty that she “doesn’t have a voice.” She knows this isn’t true. She does to have a voice and she hears herself use it everyday. And Patty loves to sing. It makes her smile deep inside. So she doesn’t listen to the people at school who tell her those things about her voice. She listens to her friends and family.

She loves it when they say, “WOW, you’re fantastic!” or “That’s a great song you taught us. I sang it all week.” or “Your face sparkles when you sing.” or ‘I’m so glad you are in my life!” Their words feel warm like the sun calling her out to play on a summer day. Their words say what she knows is true. She is a special girl with a special voice and she’ll keep singing because it makes her smile!

If the “Healthy Family Fantasy” touched or inspired you, read it again and again. Using the “Healthy Family Fantasy” as your inspiration, write  a “To Do” list for creating a “Show and Tell” evening for your friends and family.

Patricia Lynn Reilly is the founder of Imagine a Woman International and BAB Publishing Services. In her role as publishing coach, she reminds her clients that they are individualized expressions of creative intelligence, idea-generators fueled by the creative powers of the universe. Supported by the BAB Team, her clients take their tenacious ideas, propelled by their own strong YES, to the publishing finish line! Visit www.birthAbook.com for more inspiration and support to take the next step with your tenacious idea. Visit www.imagineAwoman.com to be inspired to author your own life!

Completion, Pillows of Support, and Launch Parties

The week after I began writing my first book, I sat at my computer and was unable to work. Rather than berate myself, I listened to the resistant part of me. An anxious voice emerged. Through a written dialog with ’The Anxious One, it became clear that the level of focus and attention required of the writing project was overwhelming me. I asked ’The Anxious One’ how I might support her. I began setting up ’pillows of support’ around my life in order to go the distance with the creative project.

My first commitment was to weekly bodywork. I wrote a check for the first month’s sessions to assure the anxious part of me that I was serious about attending to its needs. Each day I checked in with ’The Anxious One,’ ”Now may I go back to work?” No, was the clear response. The second pillow of support was weekly attendance at a writers’ group. We offered each other encouragement and feedback. I checked in again…still not enough support.

My third pillow was two full days off every week as a reminder that my life was more than the writing project. As I assembled an abundant assortment of pillows, the anxious part of me eventually relaxed. Three weeks later, having listened to the deep wisdom of my own life, met its needs with tenderness and grace, and designed my days in accordance with its feedback, I returned to my writing tasks without effort.

We all need support to go the distance with our writing projects. Pillows of support take many forms: regular massage, walks, good food, phone contact with friends, garden time, body-stretches, deep breaths, and meditative music. Take a moment to inventory your pillows of support. Fluff them up by renewing your commitment to self-care.

Treat yourself to a new set of pillows that are essential when transitioning from personal writing to preparing projects for the publication: time to journal, a special place and regular time to write, a strategy for handling distractions and derailments, and a circle of support with whom to share the challenges and triumphs of your process. Each pillow is described below.

• Personal writing in your journal-sketchpad.
Continue to play with words and express your feelings in your journal. As you know, writing opens the door to memory, feeling, and insight. It will empower you to continue to access and express your own unique voice. Consider your personal time with your journal as a meditation, during which you become quiet enough to hear your inner voice. Write down what you hear. Over time you will become attuned to the voice.

• A special place in which to write.
Susan created a comfortable space in the corner of her home office. She hung her own works of art on the walls. She added comfortable pillows. Jen’s ’room of her own’ is a transformed garage in which she paints, writes, dances, and meditates. Find you own perfect space and design it to inspire you. Fill it with inspiring words and your favorite music and images.

• Regular time to turn toward you writing tasks and responsibilities.
Millie carved out 15 minutes a day as her project completion time. She allowed nothing short of an emergency to intrude. Her family respected her commitment to herself and learned ways to work out the difficulties they thought only Mommy could handle. If you turn regularly toward your project, it will evolve, and move, word by word, toward completion. Breathe into the tasks before you, and allow the 15 minutes to eventually inspire you to extend your sessions to 30 minutes, then to 45, without effort.

• A strategy for acknowledging feelings, thoughts, and mindset issues.
When we finally make a commitment to complete a project, feelings rise in response to our commitment and chronic thoughts rise to challenge and distract us. Resistance, anxiety, insecurity, and fear are likely to surface. Instead of resenting these feelings and responses as intruders, embrace them as friends and faithful companions with important information to share with you. Use the process outlined below to participate with whatever rises during your journey toward project completion.

• As a (seemingly) distracting feeling or thought rises, breathe into it without judgment. Allow your breath to massage it and acknowledge it.
• Imagine the feeling or thought as your friend. Invite it to have tea with you. Give it voice through word or image. Dialogue with it in your journal. Listen to its concerns. Ask it, “Insecure One, Anxious One, Fearful One, Resistant One, Angry One, how might I support you?”
• Add whatever pillows of support are appropriate based on the information you receive from your thoughts and feelings.

• A team of allies to support you.
Share your feelings, thoughts, and responses with your support group or in conversations with a friend, sponsor, or therapist. Meet with your support team, 12 Step group, women’s circles, and writer’s group regularly to share the gifts and challenges of your writing process. Upon completion, invite them to book launch!

Share with us here or on the BAB Facebook Fan Page, your project completion pillows of support! If you’re ready to enlist the BAB Team as one of your completion allies, contact me about your project and we’ll discuss the specifics of becoming a BAB client. We’re passionate about project completion and provide step-by-step support for our clients to cross the publishing finish line, one pillow of support at a time!!

Patricia Lynn Reilly is the founder of Imagine a Woman International and BAB Publishing Services. In her role as publishing coach, she reminds her clients that they are individualized expressions of creative intelligence, idea-generators fueled by the creative powers of the universe. Supported by the BAB Team, her clients take their tenacious ideas, propelled by their own strong YES, to the publishing finish line! Visit www.birthAbook.com for more inspiration and support to take the next step with your tenacious idea. Visit www.imagineAwoman.com to be inspired to author your own life!

Everyone has a book idea with them, clamoring for expression! In the last BAB blog, we considered a list of questions to help you determine the strength of your YES in response to your book idea, recognizing that a strong YES is required to go the distance in transforming your idea into a published book.

For those of you who answered NO to one or more of the questions, we identified several options for sharing your book-idea until you’re ready to take it to the publishing finish line. Those of you who answered YES to the questions are now clear that: Read More→

Last month I shared with you the journey of my anthology idea. The idea itself generated forward movement across the publishing finish line, without much effort. The idea motivated me to gather my writings, which led to an editor, which led to the organizational structure, which led to a book designer and printer, which led to the 2004 Words Made Flesh book launch and tour. Read More→

From Workshop to Book to Poem

Our writings travel many paths. My first book A God Who Looks Like Me was written based on the feedback of an editor who attended one of my “Telling the Untold Stories” workshops in the late 1980s. She encouraged me to transform the workshop material into a book outline, write a book proposal, find an agent, and pitch the project to major publishers. I did all of the above and in 1995 Ballantine Books published A God Who Looks Like Me: Discovering a Woman-Affirming Spirituality. Read More→

The Literary Three Step: Seed, Yes, and Wow

The cosmological powers of the Universe are coursing through us moment by moment. To become aware of these powers is to touch the Source of Life. –Brian Swimme, The Universe Story

Did you know you’re destined to be an idea-generator? You are an individualized expression of creative intelligence. You are an idea-generator fueled by the creative powers of the universe.

Everything around you came from an idea. Out of the idea of a table, came your table. Out of the idea of a toaster, came your toaster. Out of the idea of a book, came the book sitting on your coffee table. Read More→

Some ideas splash across the sky of your mind like fireworks and disappear into the night. Others linger and demand our sustained attention. Do you know the difference? — Patricia Lynn Reilly, For the Love of Ideas Read More→

As an author I have never begun a project with a blank page. In my experience writing is more like gathering words, regularly turning toward them, and then crafting them to reach beyond, beneath, in back of themselves.

Each idea, outline, and assignment begins with a ritual reading of my journals for inspiration, for the kernel that will eventually become the chapter, article, keynote address, lecture, performance piece, or book.

Read More→